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tale of two selves

I’ve been dreading this week’s posts.  In fact, I’ve procrastinated long enough that I’m not sure this is going to be the incisive summary of Richie Davidson’s talk at Zen Brain I had hoped it would be.  It was the last presentation of the retreat and probably the most complex exploration of self.  My notes are very legible.  That does not bode well because it means I had lots of attentional bytes to give to penmanship.

Let me peel this back a a few years.  When contemplative practices met neuropsychology on a pre-arranged date, I had and expressed openly many misgivings about the way in which each might be compromised by the other.  I mean, you’re talking about the rational left-brain joining up with the emotive right-brain.  Where in the universe has that union been found to produce good things?

Since then, Davidson on paper has dragged me reluctantly into admitting there might be some scientific merit to the research that has come out of this partnership.  But there are caveats.  Although I happily embrace research that supports the positive consequences of long term practice, it simply means that I’m willing to admit science has something to say about practice.  I’m not going to surrender my stance that science would have little, if anything, to say about faith.

Davidson on the cushion has definitely sold me on the power of practice in two ways.  First, the research on the consequences of long term practice is compelling and you can read about his innovative approaches and intriguing evidence at The Center for Investigating Healthy Minds.  Second, watching him negotiate the complexities of neuropsychology in a way that made it comprehensible to a mixed audience was reassuring.  It made me retract my concern that the entry of science into religion would drag in its wake reductionist and dualist attitudes.  A long time ago, I watched Thich Nhat Hanh walk across the stage from his seat to a whiteboard.  Later I watch him turn around to deal with a carafe of hot water for his tea that spilled as he sat down on the stage edge.  There was nothing special in any of this.  Davidson embodies that sense of “nothing special” which is, for me, the biggest selling point of a teacher, along with a quiet confidence in our self-awareness.  So, when he says to understand our experience is to explore a tale of two selves, self as subject and self as object, I have to admit it’s a breathless wait to see where he’s going.

And here’s the fascinating question he posed:

Which is the target of contemplation?

Thank you for practicing,

Genju

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then, what is love

variations of kanji character for "Compassion"

From I am That: Talks with Sri Nisagardatta Maharaj, Chapter 52:

A man went to see Sri Nisagadartta.  He described a tormented relationship with his mother.  He found solace in his work and in spiritual search.  Yet he found himself unable to reconcile his feelings of growth with love for his mother.  He said to Nisagardatta, “Words are good for shaping feelings; words without feeling are like clothes with no body inside – cold and limp.


This mother of mine – she drained me of all feelings – my sources have run dry….

(I want) simply to love and be loved.  My mother was not only not loving, she was also not lovable.”

Nisagardatta lead him to a realization of love:

“Whichever way you put it, unless you love there is no happiness.  But does love make you always happy?… Is love merely the expectation of pleasure?”

The man replied, “Of course not.  There can be much suffering in love.”

The Master asked, “Then, what is love?

“Is it not a state of being rather than a state of mind?  Must you know that you love in order to love?  Did you not love your mother unknowingly?
Your craving for her love, for an opportunity to love her, is it not the movement of love?
Is not love as much a part of you, as consciousness of being?
You sought the love of your mother, because you loved her.”

He responded, “But she would not let me!”

Nisagardatta said, “She could not stop you.”