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a “conflict guide” from The Plum Village Lineage North American Dharma Teachers Sangha

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A few weeks ago I received an email from a dharma teacher in Thich Nhat Hanh’s tradition. The email was titled “Re:(name of dharma teacher) ” and it asked for my help in handling a “sensitive” issue. Over the years as an ordained member of Thay’s Order of Interbeing, I have repeatedly attempted to have these “sensitive” issues addressed by the larger community. About a year ago, I finally hung up my brown jacket feeling totally and utterly defeated by approximately 7 years of knocking on bolted doors, having emails and phones ignored, and effectively being ostracized from the community. The subject header should have come as a moment of hope that something was finally going to be done but I have come to recognize the various seductive strategies used to “fact-find” (read: witch hunt) and “share” (read: gossip) that have been employed about the person named in the subject header.

I have only one fact. Several years ago, one woman came to me and disclosed being sexually harassed in her sangha by the dharma teacher. As professionals who deal with these issues too-regularly in our work life, Frank and I advised her to follow various routes including reporting it to the police. She was not ready, a response that is very typical of people who feel a deep rupture of trust and are fearful of being cast out of their community. We understood and offered all the support we could. At the same, I took this to the larger community asking for a process by which sangha members could seek safety and due recourse. About three years ago, I was told there was a committee that was struck by the Order of Interbeing and the dharma teachers to address issues of sexual abuse. Good.

Except there is no obvious path to connect with this committee. The scuttlebutt also said they were inundated with complaints from sangha members about sexual abuse by Order members and dharma teachers. You can Google “sexual abuse in Thich Nhat Hanh communities” and you will find nothing except links to the the Third Mindfulness Training and Fourteenth Training of the Order of Interbeing which address sexual behaviour. Ironic, isn’t it.

The conversation that followed from the email I received was telling as well. I pointed out that the community lacked transparency. He replied, “Transparency takes years and years.” No. Transparency just takes one person standing up and saying, “There is no transparency.” I timed it: 5 secs to type it. The conversation ended and today I received a link to a pdf titled “Conflict-Guide.” It was offered as evidence that the community is being transparent about the path to reporting sexual misconduct.

I must admit I was eager to read it because a large part of my heart still lies with the beauty of Thay’s teachings and has faith that it will manifest as wisdom and compassion in the community.

Before I offer my thoughts on this guide, I invite you as a member of a much larger community to circulate it, read it, post your feedback.

Over the next weeks, I will publish my response to portions of this guide to resolve conflict – which I had hoped included how to report and address sexual misconduct sexual harassment. But guess what it actually does…

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treating the obvious

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I’m not the sharpest finger pointing to the obvious.

A few months ago, my body and mind decided to separate leaving the Me-Who-Functions-More-Or-Less a bit adrift. Coming out of a restaurant where I was entertaining a visiting lecturer and friend, I tripped on the edge of the raised sidewalk and sprawled unceremoniously into the street. In my pre-occupation with having left my car unlocked (and catastrophic visions of his computer having been stolen from it), I failed to coordinate my foot with an edge I’ve step up to thousands of time – this being my favourite pizza place. Not only had I skinned both my knees but I also sprained the tendons holding my knee cap. Of course, seeking treatment was – and often is – out of the question because… well, because, just. because.

A few weeks later, taking my computer bag out of my car, I dropped it. Being my new MacBook and all, I tried to save it with an open-handed dive only to have the bag, book, and ‘puter trash my finger. Now you would think, “Oh, she’s a smart cookie. Perhaps with two injuries she’ll get the karmic bellow about taking responsibility.” Silly you.

I did eventually go to the urgent care clinic for my knee, only because I thought it was broken and there was a sesshin looming in my future. No, no breaks; just a badly sprained patellar tendon. In my defense, I figured that one hardly needs a knee on a regular basis; it’s more of a perform-on-demand kind of joint. Apparently not. I was also too chagrined by my neglect of life and limb that I didn’t ask about my finger. I still haven’t. However, one of our classmates in our weekly “Train your human to be a good dog owner” class came in wearing a splint. It look pretty.

So I got one.

It hurts. A lot. And it’s even harder to find words that don’t use the letters T, R, F, G, V, B for this post.

I sit humbled by the strand of sinew attached to this digital joint, as much for its attempts to communicate with me as for a nuanced dharma teaching on the Second Noble Truth.

We know stuff happens, poop pervades, and disgruntlement is dismally normal. That’s the big NT1 and not only is it True, it is Real. Real because we regularly encounter disruptions, trips, bashed fingers and toes, illness, pain, and loss. These are the sufferings of suffering; the regular stuff we try to avert from, striking a posture of insouciance. Then there is that suffering of change; what was well is now not so well. What was whole is now in parts – or at least stretched beyond its limits. And the suffering that arises out of our tendency to adopt various stances to our experience (conditioned suffering) leads us down pathways seeking a fix-it solution.

It’s helpful to see these three as interdependent and co-emerging. But what is important is not to diminish that “fix-it” tendency especially at the entry-level of suffering. Get the x-ray, get the splint, get the second opinion. That’s simply because when we begin by treating the obvious source of immediate suffering, we defuse the firing of the other two forms of suffering. When we take charge of what is literally and figuratively painfully evident, there is a slightly less possibility that we end up in mental pretzels about our worth or worthiness to be well and whole.

(OK, I’ll admit it. I’ve taken off the splint so I can type this faster. Because. Just. Because.) Now go and find the obvious thing in your life that needs immediate attention and care.