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taking off the filters

Which do you follow: the teacher or the teachings?  We all have a quick answer and I’m sure one popped up for you as you read the question.  I’m beginning to understand that the question is premature rendering as misdirected any answer we give.  Long before we consider the question in its either/or form, we need to ask ourselves if there is anything standing between our heart and our vision.  Years of longing and striving can do that, dust gathers on the window panes and obscures the real question.  And sometimes, there is nothing for it but to take out the whole structure and insert one that better serves the purpose.

In the field of teaching/facilitating mindfulness-based courses debates rage on (yes, rage on) about many issues.  Is it secularized Buddhism?  Is it a misappropriation of religious concepts, a convenient excision of techniques from the heart of spiritual practice?  Is it simply a fancy name for what your grandmother told you but you forgot in the swirl of scrambling to adulthood?  I don’t tend to agitate over these questions because, in my experience, the truth, like the dharma, will out.  In other words, it doesn’t much matter what you call it; just practice.  (There is a caveat to this I will get to later this week.  Or not.)

Last week we spent time at the mecca of mindfulness, what Saki Santorelli once called the Mother Ship, the Center for Mindfulness.  It was the 10th Annual conference.  I wasn’t looking forward to it, being averse to the typical strutting and bellowing that signals territorial marking in close spaces.  But I figured this being a gathering of mindfulness teachers and practitioners (scientific and practical), surely… well surely…

Besides, I had a sweet deal in being part of a superhero trio presenting a pre-conference all-day workshop on Holding the Heart of MBSR.  Now that was a delight!  And a practice.  In its essence, it was a foray into seeing clearly, opening to what motivates us as teachers of MBSR to shift away from prescribed form and content, being transparent about our intentions and the likely impact on the integrity of what we claim to practice.  In a nutshell, how do we honour the teachings and not let the teacher or her unexamined intentions become an obstacle?  Fascinating questions, the answers to which will likely unfold over the years.

Done with the workshop, I was free to wander the rest of the week, connecting with old friends and greeting new ones.  And in various encounters, the rumble of territorial markings became audible.  Well surely I couldn’t have filtered out the human tendency to want, to crave, to feel unsafe and therefore to bare fangs, set boundaries, and draw lines.  Apparently, I did.  I do.  This is where the practice of simply noting is a good one; it helps negotiate through the conversations that circle the marketing of the self and poorly masked rhetorical questions.  I mean noting that in myself as well because certainly there were many, many times when I caught myself falling into being the product rather than the person.

And that brings us back to the question: The teacher or the teachings?  My practice in the moment is to choose neither because they are inseparable.  Teachings manifest through the teacher and the true teacher is an emergent property of the teachings.  But like the windows in my house, before any of that is put in motion, we have to take down the desire-caked, delusion-riddled old panes and stand exposed to the elements which we have kept at bay.

(Kate Crisp, of the Prison Mindfulness Institute, posted this great article on dealing with conferences.)

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another journey

This is the Church at Black Mesa.  On the satellite maps it’s labelled the cemetery at Black Mesa.  The first time I saw it was in a black and white framed work of art hanging in a little gallery in Los Alamos.  The stark white crosses in the sweep of grayscale struck something deep in me.  We left Los Alamos and wandered the roads towards Taos in our typical fashion of “shun-piking.”  Back in the early days of turnpike fees, wanderers would take the back roads to avoid paying tolls.  Frank and I took this up as our weekend adventures, following blue highways and dirt trails for no reason other than to do so.  Somewhere outside Los Alamos, we turned left into the landscape and the mesa loomed dark and threatening ahead of us.   On that day, it was threatening in many ways as a thunderstorm gather around it; apparently mesas are not the safest places when storms hit.  This time, it was a day with a brilliant blue sky backdrop to the mountains beyond.  Black Mesa however continued to live up to its name, dark and forbidding.

I got a bit closer to the church this time and it was easier to set up the shots because I wasn’t busy dodging lightning streaks.  Whatever the reason, this is a treasured pilgrimage.  I’ve learned since that there is a road leading to the cemetery.  Another time.  For now this picture inspires me with the enormous presence of the mesa and the soft punctuation of the crosses that mark the graves.

I’m on another journey this week.  Tomorrow, my colleagues and I present a workshop at the Center for Mindfulness, Health and Science on holding the integrity and fidelity of adaptations.  In the aftermath of chaplaincy training, it is a good time to explore that topic.

See you the other side!