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then, what is love

variations of kanji character for "Compassion"

From I am That: Talks with Sri Nisagardatta Maharaj, Chapter 52:

A man went to see Sri Nisagadartta.  He described a tormented relationship with his mother.  He found solace in his work and in spiritual search.  Yet he found himself unable to reconcile his feelings of growth with love for his mother.  He said to Nisagardatta, “Words are good for shaping feelings; words without feeling are like clothes with no body inside – cold and limp.


This mother of mine – she drained me of all feelings – my sources have run dry….

(I want) simply to love and be loved.  My mother was not only not loving, she was also not lovable.”

Nisagardatta lead him to a realization of love:

“Whichever way you put it, unless you love there is no happiness.  But does love make you always happy?… Is love merely the expectation of pleasure?”

The man replied, “Of course not.  There can be much suffering in love.”

The Master asked, Then, what is love?

“Is it not a state of being rather than a state of mind?  Must you know that you love in order to love?  Did you not love your mother unknowingly?
Your craving for her love, for an opportunity to love her, is it not the movement of love?
Is not love as much a part of you, as consciousness of being?
You sought the love of your mother, because you loved her.”

He responded, “But she would not let me!”

Nisagardatta said, “She could not stop you.”

February 19, 2010 - Posted by 108zenbooks | 108 thoughts, Eastern Teachers, reflections | ,

5 Comments »

  1. Thank you for this wonderful passage.

    What stops us from loving? (Not the other, that’s certain…)

    Comment by Barry Briggs | February 19, 2010 | Reply

  2. The outpouring of love cannot be stopped
    The child awaits the return
    Hungrily the newborn roots for the nipple
    Who taught her disappointment when the milk did not flow?

    Comment by Janice | February 20, 2010 | Reply

  3. Thank you, this is beautiful and so very accurate. Once love is there it seems impossible to stop.

    Comment by Magpie | March 2, 2010 | Reply

    • Thank you, Magpie. Never figured out why we would want to stop it, but we always seem to, don’t we? :-)

      Comment by Genju | March 3, 2010 | Reply

  4. That is so very true :) Something for me to ponder I think! Maybe I’ve been working too hard at trying to stop it instead of just letting it be there.

    Comment by Magpie | March 3, 2010 | Reply


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